Dear postsecret.com poster,
You said this (posted on the April 20/2008 edition of postsecret.com):
"When my schizophrenic brother finally succeeded after 15 years of suicide attempts, I was relieved."
As a person who was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and who has successfully managed the condition for over 10 years, I want you to know, that reading this statement made a part of me die a little.
Please understand that I know that I am a burden to my family, and to society in general. And please understand that I know that my actions can cause problems, stress, and pain.
I already know this. Why do you have to reinforce how shitty I am and how much people like myself make your life miserable?
You need to know that this is why we kill ourselves. We despair and we suicide because we are acutely aware that we cause problems (for ourselves, and for the people we love). We suicide because mental illness HURTS everyone it touches and that pain is often unrelenting.
You need to know that mental illness hurts its sufferers from the bottom of our toenails to the top of the hairs on our heads. I'm not talking about a literal pain; I am talking about a relentless ontological throb that we endure from our daily toils in a fast, competitive, and unforgiving world that cries for conformity (and punishes those who do not fit neatly into those compartments you have all neatly sorted out for yourselves).
Please realize that I can understand where this sentiment comes from, and that I respect your feelings, but fuck, what about me?
My sympathies for your loss,